[Story] SWTOR – Xarlo’s Meditations

This time, hardly anyone came. That’s not too surprising, Knights and Masters probably have better things to do than listen to lessons. But even a Master can learn new things. Mine used to say that, and so did the one hosting last night, Bron. I tried not to think about what kinds of things they were doing. Probably fighting off the Eternal Empire’s droids or protecting innocent farmers from Sith. I wish I could be doing that. Not that I don’t enjoy the lessons, because I do.

There was a girl there, a mirialan. The good thing is that she is a padawan too! She doesn’t have a Master either, so we have a lot in common. I really hope she comes again, so we could talk more. I’d like to at least have someone to practice my saber strikes with. It’s easier for someone to see where you’re making mistakes than when you’re doing it alone. One other person was there. Can you guess which one? The former Jedi. She didn’t come with any of her friends this time, so it wasn’t quite so bad. Also, I think her presence must have some purpose. I think she’s meant to show me what would happen if I lose track of my training and my progress. So in that way, she’s really valuable and I’m glad she was there.

Since there weren’t many people, Bron decided to postpone the talk about sages, instead he wanted to talk about lightsaber strikes. Now that’s something interesting! I made sure to pay close attention to all the ones he talked about. The mirialan girl volunteered to go up in front of everyone and demonstrate how to do them. I wanted to, but what if I do it wrong?  My Master used to say we learn more from mistakes than from successes. Which might be true, but I don’t want to do them in front of everyone. Bron talked about the different strikes and what they might be used for. Some of them were awful and dangerous, and he said it means that you’ve given in to anger. I can’t imagine just cutting someone’s whole leg off or something. I hope I’m never in a situation where I have to do that.

I also asked about how to defend against Force attacks that aren’t weapons, like groundquakes or lightning. I think Bron liked my question, so that was good. He explained how you can use your saber to divert or absorb energy sometimes, or shielding techniques. It was all really interesting. I hope I’ll get a chance to practice some of them soon — I mean, not cutting people’s legs off or anything like that, but the regular moves. I don’t know if I want to holo that mirialan girl, she’d probably think it was weird.


[Story] Xarlo’s Meditations

I tried to be better prepared this time. I studied my texts and meditated and I got there early. There were more people, some of them I recognized, but some that I didn’t. One was a padawan, and he came with someone else who I assume must be his master. I was very keen to talk to him, because he’s the only other padawan I’ve seen in a long time, but they didn’t sit near me. Actually, no one did. I wash myself, why wouldn’t they want to sit near me? The really smart Knight from last time was the closest. She must have had a lot on her mind tonight, because she was very quiet — much moreso than before. The padawan brought snacks with him. That’s a really good idea, I wish I’d thought of that.

The lesson was about the various branches of the Jedi order, tonight discussing the Guardians. I was very interested in that, because that’s what I had been studying before. I suppose I still am, just in a slower way. But any forward progress is still progress. I especially liked the part when he talked about the lightsaber training and physical training, I’m pretty good at both of those. I wonder if that padawan would want to train with me? He seemed busy talking to his master. We also got a bit sidetracked with a discussion about morality — on the nature of innocence and when it’s okay to use the Force to harm someone else. It was all really interesting, I don’t think I know the answer so I’m glad the instructor didn’t ask me. I listened to everyone’s point of view and tried to consider them. If he did call on me though, I would have said that it’s probably a decision that has to be made very quickly using both our instinct and the Force. But some people don’t consider the outcome of their actions at all, they simply act out of hate or fear without regard for the consequence. I’m not saying we should be like that, of course, but we must be prepared for it. Anyway, it got a bit off-topic but I don’t mind. Next time he’s going to talk about consulars and sentinels. That should be interesting too, I know a little about them but not as much.

There was one really mysterious guy, I mean even for a Jedi. He had a strange way of speaking and he sat perfectly still the whole time. I wonder how long he had to practice that? It seems I always get an itch, or a twitch in my ear, or something. The two Sith came too, and one woman who said she was a former Knight of Zakuul. I wish she would have spoken more, I would have liked to hear what she had to say. I don’t know much about them, but they  surely have different techniques from ours and I think it would be really interesting. I’d also like to hear about what it was like living there. Does she feel safe here, surrounded by her former enemies? What made her leave? But I didn’t talk to anyone. I wanted to, but they all were busy talking to someone else, or they just looked like they didn’t want to be bothered. And I didn’t want to look foolish in front of Knights and Masters.

I can’t sense if my Master is still alive or not, and it frustrates me because I feel like I should be able to. Wouldn’t he have reached out, either through the Force or not? Unless he can’t. I try not to imagine all the things that could have happened. I think it would be better just to know, as painful as it might be at first.

[Story] Story a Week

[[ Trying to figure out what my non-Outlander SWTOR characters are doing. Here’s what Zamarra is up to! ]]

“Master Zamarra, are we lost?” Araalo asked, her eyes wide as she looked around the dark forest. Dense vegetation crowded around on all sides, and thick vines hung from the canopy above, making their passage difficult.

“Shhh!” hissed Malo, from behind her. “We’re supposed to be quiet.”

The twi’lek Jedi closed her navigation device — it wasn’t doing them any good anyway. Worse, its signal could be detected by anyone close enough. Zamarra could only risk using it for short periods of time, and even that was more reckless than she wished to be. “It’s all right,” Zamarra reassured the frightened youngsters, huddled together behind her. “We’re not lost, we’re — on an adventure.”

She’d managed to find five of them, dusty and bleeding and terrified as they fled the ruins of their school, destroyed in moments by the Eternal Fleet. It hadn’t been the target — the Fleet had no specific targets, it simply destroyed everything in its path. But force-sensitive children were in danger from many sides, and though she had no children of her own, Zamarra immediately took them under her wing. She had been an instructor, for a few years now, and it helped that they recognized and trusted her. It was very unlikely she could have convinced them to follow her otherwise, even if the world around them was crumbling apart. Her own ship had fuel and supplies to get them out of immediate danger, but after that? Zamarra wasn’t sure. Anywhere populated was dangerous, and her ship would easily be tracked by official channels. They needed somewhere remote, but those places were usually empty for a reason. Zamarra wasn’t much of a pilot, but her ship’s navigation was sufficiently automated that she was able to pick a point and go toward it. From the small port planet, they bought passage to this one — with only the few supplies they’d brought along. They would need to make their own shelter and find food on their own, something Zamarra wasn’t skilled in, but the planet readings suggested that it would be habitable, at least.

The dense jungles provided shelter from the rain — which was nearly constant, but at least it was warm. It also provided cover from any possible overhead probes, and the warmth might obscure heat detection. There were a great many small creatures that glided, slithered, and scurried through the jungle as well. Zamarra was certain they could catch enough of these to survive until they could clear some ground for planting. Where there were prey, there were certainly predators, and though they had heard some strange noises from the jungle, Zamarra had not seen any yet. Fortunately, she had her saber to protect them if needed. The five students were among the youngest at the school, barely just beginning their training. They wouldn’t be able to survive on their own, and Zamarra worried about being able to keep them safe. Though they were frightened, tired, and wet, they hardly complained. They looked to her for guidance, and Zamarra knew she couldn’t let them down.

Hutaxo, the little zabrak boy, perked up. “I like adventure holovids. I saw one like this one time, they were in a big jungle and they had to eat bugs for food.”

“Yech,” said Thisiri, her nose crinkling up.

Giving them a task to do was helpful in keeping them distracted from the danger at hand. “Can you remember anything else from the holovid?” Zamarra asked. “Like how to make a shelter?” Hutaxo nodded eagerly. “Stay where I can see you, and shout if you need help. Take Malo with you.” The two boys ran off to collect sticks and vines for their shelter. If they were away longer than a few minutes, she would go looking for them. Zamarra still feared the unknown dangers of the jungle, especially the predators. There could also be inhabitants here that she hadn’t yet noticed — though there were no ruins or towns that they’d come across, it was doubtful that the entire planet was empty.

“Let’s clear some of this ground so we can make a fire,” Zamarra said. The trees had formed a small natural clearing here, and the ground was relatively flat but tanged with vines and vegetation. It seemed a good enough place as any for a temporary camp, until she could scout the area more fully. The girls set to work, tugging the vines and roots free of the soil, piling the debris off to one side. It was difficult to tell, but Zamarra thought they seemed excited by the task. From their perspective, maybe it really was an exciting adventure. After all, they’d probably never camped in a jungle before. She couldn’t let her own fears overtake her mind, cloud her judgment or her resolve. Tonight she would take time to meditate and center herself, it had been far too long and she could feel the turmoil in her heart.

Part of that was worry about the others she knew. Was Malavar, her brother, safe? The Fleet had not spared the Empire its attacks, either. The last time they’d spoken over holo, he’d been researching some ancient artifacts on Voss. That was one of the places that the Eternal Empire had attacked — there were few planets that weren’t in its crosshairs. Zamarra believed that she would have sensed if something happened to him, but it was impossible to know for certain. They had a bond, but it was not as strong as it could have been. They’d spent so many years apart, only reuniting recently, and then they could communicate only with great caution. Though he had no loyalty to the Empire, the Republic still would consider it treasonous for Zamarra to contact him. They’d been using a hijacked signal, provided by Kif. She didn’t want to admit it, but she worried about him too. The routes between the planets were no more safe, with the Eternal Fleet patrolling there. She considered trying to locate him, but no doubt he had gone to ground as well — and he was much more skilled at it than she was. For now, the young Jedi were her focus.

[Art] May the Fourth Be With You

Kazta has no use for the Force, so I drew the Grumpy Cats instead!


[Art] Xarlo


Trying to do more digital art, here’s my Cathar Jedi, Xarlo – but with a tail.


[Art] Xarlo


Just a quickie of my cat Jedi, Xarlo. It occurred to me while watching the movie (again) that people might associate his cool o-name with Kylo’s, and that makes him a grumpy cat.

Also I really enjoy drawing Cathar, they are fun!


[Story] Transmissions

[[ Just some short SWTOR stuff, letters between Mr Hare’s Smuggler and my Jedi. Hopefully leading into a storyline! ]]

XXXXXEncrypted MessageXXXXX
Origin: Unknown


I got in touch with one of my contacts, and being as small a galaxy it is, she knew your brother.  She didn’t have much to say, but the last she had seen him was on Alderaan.  He was researching (what exactly she didn’t know, or at least didn’t tell me).  This was close to when Zakuul invaded, so it was a while ago.  Fortunately it appears he left before there were any hostilities, and he was in sound health when she last saw him.  At least that was some good news, though it is old.

I will be of the grid for a while.  Apparently asking around about your brother brought on a bit of heat.  Kind of need to disappear, for a week or two…maybe three.

Please be careful, not sure what all is going on, but I don’t want you in any trouble.  Kind of care about you, ya know?




Greetings Kif,

What do you mean, some trouble? What sort of things has he gotten mixed up in? What was he doing on Alderaan? I have so many questions. I am relieved that he is alive — or he was, at least. I like to believe that I would feel it if he wasn’t, I know it’s possible when there is a strong bond between people. But we’ve been apart more than we’ve been together, all of those years. It seems so unfair to find him only to lose him again. Did your contact see anyone with him? Any of his crew, or apprentice?

I hope this message will reach you before you go dark. If not, it will be waiting and you know where I can be found. I wish I could say that I could continue my studies in the meantime, but I expect I will be too distracted for that, so perhaps meditations would help. You never know, maybe they would help you as well.

Your friend,