[Story] The Ghostclaw – Linarelle’s Journal

The students at the school are taking a trip to Shattrath. I guess they haven’t been in a long time because the baby was too small, but she’s a year old now so they feel comfortable taking her. Of course that meant Aeramin was going, so he asked Im to go along with. Because they’re all a bunch of mages, they can make him portals to get to his post every morning, so he went along. I thought it would be nice to go with Sunashe, too. The last time we were here was when we were trying to get Blinky back, not really a very fun time for either of us. Things are definitely better now.

We’re in the same inn with all the students, our room overlooks the forest and there’s a little balcony and everything. Sometimes we eat there but sometimes we go to the restaurant, too. I actually haven’t seen much of Im, I think they’re staying at Aeramin’s old house and going on some other trips. That’s fine, I really don’t need to hear all of the details. It seems like so long ago when we were here for his training, though it wasn’t really. It’s just that a lot has changed since then.

I told Sunashe about the plans for the stable. It’s not a surprise, but I think he had forgotten about it because he was puzzled at first. The builders are already booked for the whole building season, but they should hopefully be able to squeeze it in at the end. It’s not a very large stable and it won’t need as much work or finishing as a whole house. I’m still thinking about whether we should get some hawkstriders or not, I think they’d be nice though it would be odd if we only had two and not enough for all the rangers. I suppose we could just ride them for fun, but we don’t have that much time together usually except at night. I’ll have to consider it. But Blinky will have his own stall with comfortable hay and a holder for his food. He’s getting so big that I’m worried his tail is going to knock things over in the house. There’s nothing really breakable right now, at least. Sunashe said he didn’t want anything else, but I still want to get him something. It feels wrong not to. Maybe a new bow, or some new armor, or a lifetime supply of bow wax. Actually I was joking about that, but he seemed to like the idea. That figures. He did say he’d like to get another lizard,  but I’m not sure if he’s going to have time to train another one in addition to Blinky. Especially if the captain finds more new recruits.

I didn’t really mean to bring it up but somehow we got on the subject of babies. I know I want one eventually — my mother would prefer it was sooner rather than later. I guess she has a feeling it won’t be happening for Im anytime soon. Sunashe said that it was my decision, which I guess it is, but he’ll be affected too. Mostly I’m scared, I’m scared of how much it would hurt and I’m scared that I don’t know how to take care of a baby, and I’m scared that something might happen to Sunashe. I don’t think he’d disappear, he says he won’t but he did before. Granted, that was a misunderstanding but it could happen again. Or something could happen to him on patrol. I don’t think I could raise a baby all by myself. What if I had twins, like our mother? I’m scared that it would be too much and I’d have to give them up too, then I’d hate myself and Im would hate me too, and so would the babies eventually. I want to talk to Nessna about it, but she just made it seem like it was no big deal. I mean, she’s had two so maybe it’s not, but I bet she was worried about the first one.

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