[Story] The Ghostclaw – Linarelle’s Journal

It’s almost fall, which means it’s almost our wedding. Except I haven’t done very much as far as planning yet. I don’t think I want a super fancy one, rather something like the Captain and Nessna had. Except maybe with moth and lizard decorations. I went into the city with our mother and we looked at dresses. She wants me to get the fanciest, frilliest one they had, but I don’t know if that’s what I really want. I keep trying to guess what kind of dress Sunashe would like, but he doesn’t seem that interested in dresses anyway. I mean, sometimes he notices mine but it’s not that often. But then I only have a few, so I guess he’s already seen all of them a lot of times. I just want him to think that I look beautiful. Part of it is that I’m worried he’s going to change his mind and decide that he doesn’t want to get married after all. I mean, he did leave once, that was different because it was a misunderstanding, but it could happen again right? We’ve been talking more, which is good, and I always try to make sure that he knows how much I want him here. I still put the little notes and I use a lot of the lines from Julan. I’m sure Sunashe knows that, but hopefully he doesn’t mind when I say it. Anyway, I just want everything to be nice but I’m worried it won’t be fancy enough, or it’ll be too fancy, or Aeramin being there, or Mother being there will cause a problem with someone. I plan to ask Orledin to make the cake, and Tik for the food. Hopefully both won’t be too busy, or I’ll have to make another plan.

Nessna is getting big. Not really big, but enough to notice. It got me thinking about kids again. Sunashe seemed so disappointed when I told him that I wasn’t having one, but I’m not sure if I’m ready for that just yet. I guess some people don’t get a choice about it, like Im, but I feel like we should wait a while. I might change my mind when the new baby is born though. I would be so nervous, Nessna is so calm about it all. Of course she’s done this before so I guess she knows what to expect. I thought she’d have some names picked out already but she said she wants to wait until she knows a good one for him or her. I mean, that makes sense, but it seems wrong to just call it “the baby” for days or weeks. Maybe the Captain has some picked out. I should suggest it to him if he hasn’t. Kavia was there too, Im came a while back to visit her. I guess he brought a picnic. That’s a pretty good idea, I wonder if it was him or Aeramin’s. It’s an odd situation, I wish he would just leave Aeramin altogether and be with her, but at the same time I can understand why he stays. He’s been with Aeramin longer than anyone else, and he keeps saying that Aeramin is really sorry and wants to make things better. And, I guess he’s okay with Im seeing Kavia, or at least he says he is. I wonder if he’s really not, I mean I wouldn’t want to share Sunashe with anyone.

Oh, I need to find a wide enough ribbon to go around Blinky’s neck. I’m not sure what color would be good, I’m thinking maybe gold or orange, for autumn colors.

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