[Story] Berwick’s Notes

I didn’t realize it had been so long since I wrote in this book. Flipping back a few pages, I see that I write that every time. I can’t say that it’s hard to find the time, because we’re not really doing anything here other than hunting. Xyliah is getting skins for her father. Seeing as there aren’t many animals here, that doesn’t take up too much time. And I have a lot of things on my mind, I guess I just haven’t wanted to write them down. Mostly it’s the same as before. I want to start looking for things to sell again, get the business up and running. It’s just discouraging because I lost all of my gold, and all of my maps and notes, and I don’t have any place to store things that we do find until I can sell them. It’s like I’m starting all over again. I did it once, right? It should be possible to do it again. But I’m older and it seems more daunting this time around, maybe because I know I can fail. Before I never really gave it much thought. It seems like Xy is still uncertain about what she wants too, and I don’t want to force her into anything she doesn’t want. Like she doesn’t know where she wants to live eventually, or if she even wants a house at all. I brought up working in her father’s shop again and she seemed to like that idea — I don’t especially. I mean, her father is fine, just working in a shop and dealing with customers really isn’t what I pictured myself doing. I could do it, I did right after I got out of Dalaran, but do I really want to? No. She changed her mind as soon as she saw that I wasn’t too happy about the idea. I wish she’d just tell me what she wants instead of changing it. Even if it’s bad, it wouldn’t matter.

The other big news is that Hethurin got married. It’s the guy that’s been working at the school, he is pretty young but they definitely seem to love each other so I think it’ll be good. I’m happy for him, he deserves it after everything he’s been through. I didn’t get much chance to talk to them but I guess he helps around the school and does the baking. He made the cake for the wedding himself, it was really good. I asked Xy if it was weird seeing him get married, but she said it wasn’t. I would have thought it would be, at least a little, but I don’t know. Then she said she was glad that we’d been in Dalaran. She meant because otherwise we wouldn’t have met, which I guess is probably true. Though I could have met her somewhere else too. Maybe somewhere else I wouldn’t have been locked up in a cage for weeks, I don’t know. It just seemed like a weird thing to say and all of those feelings of guilt came back. About Thalien, about the people who didn’t get out. Why would she say that?

I guess the plan will be to start looking for things once the weather is good, except we’re coming up onto the fall and winter, so we can’t go now. I can use the time to start re-drawing all of my maps, and looking for leads in the books here. I’m sure Hethurin can make me a portal into the city if I need one, though I’m not sure if they actually have more books there or not.

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