[Story] The Ghostclaw – Vellira’s Thoughts

It must be lonely being undead. It was never something I really thought about until I started working with one. Everyone you meet already dislikes you, or at the very least finds you disgusting, and it’s not even something you have control over. Would he rather be dead for real? I didn’t ask that but it’s something that I wonder. Orledin is lucky in that people here mostly treat him like normal, he likes to bake things for us and everyone likes them. But he was saying that he doesn’t use the regular tub, because he’s afraid of upsetting people. I guess it might be kind of weird knowing there was a dead person in there. He told Ty and I all about how he cleans himself, I now know way more about cleaning a dead person than I ever thought I would. For example he uses powder to dry himself off so he doesn’t get fungus. Wouldn’t that be weird, having fungus grow on you? And he takes special care of his ears. I’d be really upset if my ears started to rot off too. Will he eventually be like Hernester, though? Is it something that just happens and you can’t do anything about it? That’s scary to think about.

He was talking about how he saves the bones of animals that he finds out in the woods. That’s a little odd on its own, but then he’s talking about building them together and gluing them, like for a museum. We could have a whole bone museum out here. Maybe they’d like that at the school? They could use it to learn about raptors or whatever. Orledin is worried that people might mess with them. I am pretty sure nobody wants a bunch of stinky old bones. It gives him something to do, if you don’t sleep I bet you have a lot of free time.

Ty said he’d still love me if I was undead. I think it would be pretty weird, and nothing would work properly. He never did ask Orledin about that, but it would have been awkward and hearing about the fungus was bad enough.

Somehow we got to talking about taking a trip. Ty wants to go on a ship, as if you can just walk up and borrow someone’s! I am sure I could find someone willing to take us out, the Captain had a lot of friends and associates, someone’s sure to remember him. But then they’ll want to talk about him and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. Maybe they have some small vessels that people can take out, at the harbor. It’s not really the same, but I don’t think Ty would be able to tell the difference. I’m certain I couldn’t sail a large one on my own, anyway. He says he wants to learn, which is cute, but it takes time and practice. He probably won’t be very good for a while, but that’s okay. I’m more worried about if he is. What if he’s a natural, if sailing is in his blood and he takes to it right away. What if we decide to stay there, on the ocean, instead of going back to the rangers. As much as I’d like that to happen, I think it would hurt too much, bring back too many memories. Even the smell of the ocean makes my heart tie in knots sometimes. Do I miss it? Of course. But that part of my life is gone, and it’s foolish to keep chasing it. I don’t want to disappoint Ty either, though, he was so excited about the idea. I just have to be realistic about it and not let those feelings get the better of me.

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