[Story] The Ghostclaw – Linarelle’s Journal

I saw Im again, before my patrol. One unexpected side effect of all of this is that we’re talking more, which I like. I just wish it was under different circumstances. I don’t have any advice for him, other than to just leave Aeramin but I’ve already said that probably a dozen times. It’s not that simple though, they’ve been together a long time and if he really does love him he can’t just walk away and give up. Other than this, things have been pretty good he says. Well, and the other times he was worried about Aeramin cheating. I guess it’s happened a lot, according to Arancon anyway.

Aeramin came by last night unexpectedly, I’m not really sure why. Maybe he just wanted a free dinner? Im thinks it’s because Aeramin wanted to talk to people here, one of the things he said during their discussion was that he didn’t have anyone to talk to about the situation. I just don’t know which of us he intended to talk to? Certainly not me, and definitely not Arancon. Maybe he came to talk to Ty. I don’t think any of them knew what to say either. I wouldn’t want all of the rangers knowing about my personal business, but maybe they already do. I told them that I was worried that Kavia and Sunashe were out there practicing alone. I mean, that’s what he does when he wants to talk to me. Arancon said maybe he was training his lizard out there with her. He better not be! They are also patrolling together, I don’t even get to do that. I bet she’s looking at his ears. I’m not saying she’s the kind of girl that would try to take someone else’s guy but his ears are really nice and I don’t see how she couldn’t notice them.

Aeramin told us about how their talk went, and then I heard it again from Im the next morning. It’s strange hearing it from both sides, but they both said pretty much the same things. Im was angry that Aeramin tried to make it sound like it was somehow Im’s fault, because she liked the girl first. I had to agree with him on that, there’s a big difference between just liking someone and acting on it. Im said he feels guilty for not wanting to help take care of the baby, but Aeramin doesn’t either and that’s worse. But I know what he meant without him actually saying it; he’s worried about the baby feeling like no one wanted her. Because he’s talked about that with me before, it’s one of the main reasons that he’s trying to find out about our parents. I’m a bit worried about what he might do if it turns out they didn’t want us. Does it really matter now? The Matron wanted us, and the blood knights want him, and the Ghostclaw want me. Aeramin wants him, or at least he says he does. Sunashe says he does. We talked a little bit after everyone else went to bed or left. He said that he and Kavia just talked about bows, and he told her that we’re together. He said that my boobs in the painting weren’t accurate, which means he must have been looking really closely. To be honest, I haven’t. I guess that’s good right? He said that he’s excited about having our own place to live together, and that he loves me and I have nice ears. I think that’s about as romantic as he gets. Sometimes I wish he’d do things like write songs or poems like that kid from the school did, is that strange? It would be different because I wanted them from him. I told him we should go to the faire again next time it’s here. Last time was weird and awkward, but I think it would be better now. I think I could have fun with him if I let myself believe him.

I still don’t know what to tell Im though. Aeramin is sleeping in their basement, I don’t see how that is supposed to help anything. He said it’s because he doesn’t deserve a bed. Well, okay. But avoiding each other won’t help anything, though he said they’re still eating dinner together. It’s probably really awkward. Im wants to forgive him, but the baby makes it a lot more complicated. And like I said, he doesn’t want to avoid her because it makes him feel like a jerk, but I understand why he’d not really want to see her. I said maybe he’d eventually like her in time, but I don’t really know if that’s true. If Sunashe had a baby with another girl I’m pretty sure that I would leave him. I don’t know. I’d rather not think about it. He said it would never happen, but how does he know? I’m sure Aeramin thought that too.

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