I drank too much at the party. Probably at the wedding too. I don’t think anyone noticed, but I have a headache to show for it. The party was pretty boring, honestly, but I went because the food is good and it’s a nice thing to do. It still feels strange watching Gael with her, like somehow it was supposed to be me, though I know it probably wouldn’t have ever been. I can’t help feeling like she took him away, even though he wasn’t ever really mine. Just like Aeramin, and the blood knight. And I guess the Captain too. Xarola and Des are experts on relationships now, they wanted to know everything about Sunashe. I told them he talks about his lizard a lot, and I don’t mean that to stand for something else, I mean an actual lizard. It’s good that he’s so interested in them, but honestly it would be nice to talk about something else sometimes. I guess moths are an improvement?
He’s also taken his care of the old man very seriously. I guess he would, given that people who drink too much are sort of his little pet cause. He makes sure he’s eating and drinking water, and gives him the medicine that Lani gave him. I do appreciate it, as does the captain I’m sure, but I have to wonder about his motives. For one thing, he calls him “Old Drunky” which I think is pretty mean. If he’s trying not to drink anymore, it can’t help to constantly be reminded of it. It does take up all of Sunashe’s time though, we haven’t gone to the market or to look for lizards yet. I honestly thought he’d forgotten about it until he mentioned it at the wedding. Maybe he’d just rather spend his time with old men? I don’t know.
I honestly think that Ty gave him some helpful “advice” and he’s pretending not to be interested anymore. Or he never was, that’s likely too. Des insisted that I’m pretty, which must explain why all the guys I like aren’t interested. Then she said it was because my personality isn’t great. Well, thanks. If Sunashe is going to Ty for advice, I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. And I don’t really feel like chasing after anyone. Though I think Xarola’s suggestion was funny, she said I ought to kiss him if he starts talking about lizards, because it would make him stop. She’s right about that, but I’m not too sure how it would go over. And it would be a lot of kissing, because he sure likes to talk about lizards a lot. Des said he’s just shy, which doesn’t really make sense because we see each other all the time and talk about ranger things. He did talk about how people in Silvermoon treated him badly because of his injury. He could have just been making that up for sympathy, but I’m pretty sure he wasn’t. People in the city actually are like that, even though they wouldn’t even be alive if not for people like him who fought. It’s much better to be out in the woods actually doing something. He said he was glad to be here, and glad that he met me. I’m not sure what to think about that. Sometimes I think he’d be okay, but then other times he doesn’t seem to have the first clue. He didn’t even want to dance until he saw Ty and Vellira dancing, and he didn’t offer me his cloak when it was cold or anything. I don’t know, I guess I don’t really have many options at this point. I could see how it goes. I just hope it doesn’t make things too weird — though it can’t be much worse than Gael, I suppose.