[Story] Ordinicus’s Journal

My father used to ask me all the time what I wanted to do when I was older. I hated it, because I never knew the answer. I didn’t want to be what he wanted me to be, but knowing what you don’t want isn’t the same as knowing what you do want. At least, not completely. Kestrae keeps dropping hints about moving out here to the Ghostlands, except she tries to make it sound like it’s my idea and my decision. The truth is I don’t know if I want to. It’s a big risk, and I don’t know if things would be better here or not. I mean, she’s right that there’s probably a lot of work opportunities — at least for a while. I don’t know what I’d do after that, and do I really want to be a builder? It’s okay work, and I enjoy being outside when it’s not raining, but it’s not something I can see myself doing for the rest of my life. That’s just the problem though, I’m not sure what else I could do. I didn’t go to mage school and I never became a priest like my father wanted. Maybe I should just take it. I hate feeling like Kestrae has to support me. That’s another reason I don’t know if I want to be a builder — I know her family is pretty well-off and I have no doubts as to what they’d say about it if they knew. She says she doesn’t care, but there are plenty of people who do. It’s easy to forget all of that stuff when I was in Shadowmoon Valley, it’s a lot more noticeable here.

The building itself is coming along well, the relatives that Lani hired had to learn some things, but they got a hang of it quickly. It helps that they’ve both done some minor repair work on the farm, and are used to working outside. Some of the other people from town that she hired aren’t quite as useful, I think they’re actually slowing us down sometimes. But I guess if Lani doesn’t like how fast they work, she can just not hire them anymore. The weather is really the main thing that’s slowing us down, if the rain is too heavy it’s just not safe to be working. The Ghostlands are quite a bit wetter than Eversong;  we maybe should have started a bit later, but then I guess the demand for workers will be even higher. I guess if I work here through the summer, I can save up enough to decide what I really want to do.

Kes is talking about finding a place here, either renting one or using Lani’s old house once she moves out. I guess I’m kind of worried about people finding out about her research. That’s especially true if we end up living at the school. I haven’t talked to her about it, but I know she won’t be able to do that with a lot of people around. Or maybe she’s going to concentrate on her book about dragons, I’d honestly prefer that. Then it would definitely be okay to live at the school. I’ll admit I could get used to eating Tik’s cooking every night. There’s a ball coming up, and I’m not sure what I should wear for it. I don’t like robes, but I don’t have any fancy armor either, and that costs a lot. Maybe I could just find a nice shirt.

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