[Story] The Ghostclaw – Sath’alor’s Notes

Nessna let me watch Rylad today while she’s on her patrol. Truth be told, I’m pretty nervous about it but she trusts me so it can’t be that difficult, right? Normally I didn’t get up that early, but since she is, I have been too. It’s not bad really, I can get all of my work done first thing, which gives me more free time in the evenings. I decided to bring him to the ranger building instead of staying at home; mostly that’s so I can help keep an eye on things there. Also, my house has stairs and the ranger building doesn’t. She warned me about that. She didn’t warn me that he’d get into everything else though!

He’s big enough to move around on his own; he can run for short distances and he’s a really fast crawler. If you don’t keep your eye on him every moment, he can disappear! The guys noticed that he was here and I just said that I was watching him. I think they’ve probably figured it out, though. Anyway, I just said to make sure to watch out for him while they were working — not that he was going to get away from me, right? I brought some of his toys into my “office” while I did paperwork. It’s going to be my office, but it’s not really yet, it’s just a crate for my desk and a smaller one for my chair. We’ll get all the furniture once everything is done. We actually got a letter from one of the people who lives out here, complaining because he saw Orledin and Sorrowmoss on the road near his house. I guess he has a problem with undead rangers or something, which is completely stupid. I trust them both completely, they’ve been invaluable and they can see a lot of things that we can’t because they’re able to stay up all night without getting tired. Plus, they probably know a lot more about Scourge and their habits than any of us do. I know Sorrowmoss was a ranger in these woods before she died, so she knows it very well. Those “undead” are keeping everyone safe from the actual dangers. Of course I couldn’t reply and tell the guy he’s an idiot, or we’d lose our sponsorship from the city and probably get Orledin and Sorrowmoss hurt. So I explained that we’re very low on rangers right now and they were “a necessary evil”. I don’t believe that at all, and I hope they never hear that from anyone. I also said that I’d take Orledin and Sorrowmoss off that patrol — which isn’t true either. I’ll just tell them to try to avoid the roads if possible, so no one sees them. It just makes me angry how ungrateful some people can be.

I haven’t been around any babies before, so I didn’t really know what to expect. I thought he’d just sit there and play with his toys, but he really wants to explore. He opened up the closet and started opening all the crates, and it’s funny because he was kind of talking to himself the whole time. I mean, he can say a few words — I’ve heard him say “minn’da” and “no” and “bye”, but it’s like he has his own little Rylad language. I also wonder a lot about if he’ll think of me as his “ann’da” or not. I hope he does, but I also know that would probably freak Nessna out a lot. I always wanted my own family, and I want to be there for both of them. It just feels a little dishonest, what will Rylad think when he’s older? Will he be angry that she didn’t tell him? Will he say I’m not his “real” father? He’s too young to understand right now, and he probably won’t remember Vessen at all. I haven’t asked her about it, though I want to. She sort of hesitated when I tried to talk about the future before, and I don’t want to rush her into anything. I know people are talking about her moving already, but she’s the one who knows if she’s ready. I just hope she doesn’t change her mind about it. I still don’t know if she plans to stay after the building is done or not. Obviously I want her to, I could make one of the rooms into Rylad’s when he’s bigger. Sometimes I think about if Kes and I had got married and had a baby, it would probably be about the same age as Rylad is now. That’s strange to think about. I’m happy with how things are now though.

I gave Rylad his lunch and he also wanted some of mine, I had to cut it up into little tiny pieces so he wouldn’t choke. Nessna said a lot of the time he doesn’t really chew very good so you have to be careful about that. He has his two little tiny fangs, they’re so cute! Then after lunch I had to do his diaper. Nessna showed me how to do it, but she did it so fast and it looked all neat, I’m pretty sure I did it wrong. Sure enough, when he started to run around it slipped down and fell off. So I just let him go without. I hope she doesn’t get mad about that, but I think it’s kind of funny. Clementine doesn’t know what to make of him, I think. She’ll come up and sniff him and then give me this look like, what am I supposed to do with this? I think he likes her though, she’ll get up and move and he’ll keep running after her. Eventually she went outside so I gave him the toy lynx instead. I think “Tiger” is a good nickname for him.

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