[Story] Berwick’s Notes

I thought the time away would help. It has, but I still have the nightmares sometimes. Most of the time I’m just back in the cell, scared and starving. But this time I know somehow that no one is coming to save us, and we’re all just waiting for death. Sometimes in the dream, I hear Xyliah come and talk to the guards, but she tells them that she doesn’t remember anyone named Berwick and she leaves again. I yell, but she doesn’t hear me over the sounds of the others there in prison. Or sometimes she’s there with someone else, another man that I don’t recognize. It’s not Sanimir — at least he would try to help me, at least that’s what my dream-self thinks. But those aren’t the worst ones. The worst ones are when we’re running to escape but something goes wrong — Thalien isn’t there waiting at the landing, or an arrow aimed just a little bit better. Those ones are the worst because they’re so real, I can feel the stones of the street as I kneel down to check on her, and the way her skin is far too cool.

I’m not sure if Xyliah knows about them or not. I haven’t ever told her, but I might have shouted out in my sleep or something. She’s never said anything though, maybe she doesn’t know what to say. I guess I don’t either. I still feel that it’s my fault, especially what happened to Thalien. I honestly don’t know what we could have done differently though.

But when I wake up, everything is good. The sun is warm and we’re resting on the soft sand of the beach, watching the fishing boats and roasting crabs over the fire. It’s been a good break, but I know we need to get back to working soon. It’s just easy to forget here, and let the days drift by. There have been rumors I’ve heard among the bears, about what’s been happening back in Kalimdor. Normally I don’t care too much about it, but they say that a lot of elves had been drafted into going there. There’s no one I’m especially worried about, but I worry about Xyliah’s family. I keep pestering her to write home, but we’d need to get to a proper town for that. I just want to make sure everything is okay before we disappear into the wilderness again. I have a few places I’d like to look for treasure. It’s been so long, I’m a little afraid I will have lost the knack for it. But this land is crawling with ancient ruins and hidden caves, all of which could hold something valuable. I’m doing well enough too, Xyliah doesn’t call me skinny anymore — though I’m certainly not fat either.

I think about Sanimir sometimes and hope he’s doing okay. I should probably write to him too, I wonder if he’ll even remember who I am? My mother will be upset for not writing in so long, but I hope she’s settling well into her new house.

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