[Story] Linarelle’s Journal

I meant to write to Im, but it was sounding way too whiny in my head, so I decided to just write it where nobody else can read it instead. I’ll see him at the party anyway, that’s if I decide to go. I’ve kind of cooled on it a bit, after facing the prospect of having to attend alone and hang around trying not to be too awkward all night. I mean yes, it’s free food and drinks, but still. The Captain is going, but he’ll be working as a guard. I’m not really sure what Hethurin expects to happen at his party, honestly I think he’s a bit paranoid. Maybe I should do that too, at least then no one would ask why I’m standing around alone. Tylenthis was still asking about whether Lani was going, and what she was going to wear. I don’t know how he thinks he’s fooling anyone. I don’t want to go as someone’s consolation prize, I’m done with guys like that. Besides, I know what the Captain thinks about “fraternizing”, especially given that our unit is so small. We really shouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it in these early stages, it’s like a fragile seedling right now. So I don’t know, I’d probably have to buy a new dress if I wanted to go, and I’d rather not spend all that gold. Nessna is just going to wear her armor, but that does seem a bit awkward for a ball. I mean if there was someone there who wanted to dance, it would be difficult to do in my mail.

I’m sure Aeramin and Im will be there too, and that doesn’t help. I want him to be happy, of course I do, he’s my brother. But I guess it still bothers me a little, especially having heard that he’s had girlfriends in the past. Maybe I should go to Shattrath and see the Captain’s sister, she’s due to have her baby any day now. Her husband is back from Kalimdor, I’ve heard of him before, he was a ranger back before he was injured. I’m not sure what he’s doing now. But seeing a new baby would probably be a lot less depressing and awkward than going to a holiday ball alone.

But Shattrath has bad memories too — some good ones, of course. I liked the forests, and it was like an adventure seeing all of the strange animals and people. But mostly I remember the heartache and disappointment, and the knowledge that Im wasn’t going to come back home with me. It still feels strange not having him around — I mean he isn’t far right now, but once Aeramin’s father’s house is finished I’ll never see them unless I find a mage to make me a portal. They’re on a whole different world. I don’t know how it doesn’t bother him. I hate to feel like Aeramin’s replaced me. Maybe that’s the real reason that it bothers me to see them together.

 

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